the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Your cock deserves a montage
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BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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