Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
