This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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