Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
