Can Purell be used as lube?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
