are you still at the devil's house?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
