Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
