Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
