You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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