WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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