There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
