my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
