So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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