Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
