Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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