I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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