sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
