dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
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My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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