just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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