please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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