The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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