69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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