stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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