he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
