U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
