I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm at about main and main street
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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