I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
