wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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