Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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