You can't special order awesome
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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