I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Found the puke drawer
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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