I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
