You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
