Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize