garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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