You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
