i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
