you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
