Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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