i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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