I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
