im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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