theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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