i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
