Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
