So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
