I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
