I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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