She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
