Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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