Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The air taste purple.
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