Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
