So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Drake has all the answers
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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