operation harelip BJ is a go
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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