I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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